


Fairy Lights

by spanishnintendo



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Angst, Armin Arlert - Freeform, Character Death, Connie Springer - Freeform, Death, Eren Yeager - Freeform, Fluff, Heavy Angst, Highschool AU, Informational, Love, Mental Health Issues, Modern AU, Multi, Romance, Sad, Sasha Blouse - Freeform, aot - Freeform, awareness, historia reiss - Freeform, jean kirstein - Freeform, mikasa ackerman - Freeform, relationship, snk, y/n, ymir - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-12
Updated: 2021-02-23
Packaged: 2021-03-18 16:35:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 6
Words: 10,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29371695
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spanishnintendo/pseuds/spanishnintendo
Summary: You, Y/N, have been suffering from major insomnia for the past 3 months. You don't have anything to help with your case, since it's a very big occurrence. Normally, to help with your insomnia, you'll draw portraits of people that appear in your head. Lately, you have been drawing one specific person for quite a while now.His name goes by Armin Arlert. You find him so beautiful. The way he tries hiding his flaws when in reality that's all you draw because of how beautiful even his flaws are. And really, you've come to think that the reason why you always draw him is because of one thing and one thing only. You admire his beauty. You love him.The thing is, can you confess why you draw him before it's too late?
Relationships: Armin Arlert/Reader
Kudos: 3





	1. Love Flu

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first book on ao3. I'm not as experienced as other ao3 authors so. . . bear with me here. Anyway, I decided to do an Armin Arlert x reader book because why not? This idea came to mind when I was sketching so I hope it's not bad. If this book is too mediocre, that's fine. But I promise I won't have any grammar mistakes. Those anger me so much.  
> Enjoy the first chapter. I don't know how many chapters I'm going to do, though.

It's the middle of winter now. I huff as walk down the stairs with no energy or motivation. These weeks are so repetitive. I wonder if we're just in a loop of time and I'm the only one who knows that. I pack my backpack, my vision blurred and my eyes closing and opening. I felt so stiff because of last night. But, at least I finished the work I've been doing for a while now. I placed my backpack down on the sofa of my living room as I went to go make breakfast. I grabbed some cinnamon toast and put it in the toaster.  
I spaced out, thinking of what my plans could be for school. I ticked the button on the toaster, walking off as I prepared for the sound of the toast to pop out. I sat down on my couch, going on my phone to try and distract myself from my exhausted build. When I went to go brush my teeth this morning, all I could look at were my eyebags that seemed more visual than usual. I scrolled through pages on my phone. There was always one individual who I was attracted to most. Who I could never let go of. Armin Arlert.  
It's weird when you think about it on the surface. There are so many ways you could misinterpret what I just said. No, I'm not an obsessed tragedy. No, I'm not someone who scrolls through his page to make portraits of him. Wait. . .  
But really, he was always someone I admired. When I first found out he also went to this school, I couldn't keep my eyes off him. How did I not acknowledge his existence these past 3 years? That must be a hate crime or something. I never really had a chance to try and socialize with him. I was just another person from the crowd. A normal family, a normal hobby and a classic highschool life. Nothing really pinned me down other than my excessive insomnia. I'd go days without sleeping. I'm pretty it's been messing with my head. I've been failing Math class and Geography. All because of my extreme struggles to rest and go to bed.  
I would always get lectures from my parents due to how bad I've been doing. Honestly, I try my best to acknowledge that. But it's hard when I can only focus on one thing at a time. And you all know why. Then, I heard the toast from my toaster pop up. I delayed my movement, but I still got up. I walked to the toaster, pinching at the toast carefully and grabbing it. I put it on my plate, grabbing a butter knife and spreading out some butter. I put the knife in the sink, eating the toast lousily.  
When I finished my toast, I put my dishes away and looked at the clock. 7:46. I guess it was good enough. I grabbed my backpack and my phone. I shuffled my shoes on and dressed myself up in winter attire. I grunted as I pulled my backpack on. I plugged in my headphones to my phone and put on my playlist. Preparing to walk to school. Another day. Another day, was all I could repeat to myself.  
As I was walking to school, I admired the beauty of the Christmas lights that should've been taken down a month ago. There was no way I could complain. It gave me such a view when I stayed up at night. It gave me one other thing to admire. Of course, I wouldn't draw them. I wasn't the artist to draw objects in beautiful landscapes. Oh, how I wished I was that kind of artist.  
I looked straight ahead, the blur of kids walking with their parents. Or occasionally the cars that passed down the road with I'd assume families driving their kids to school. I nuzzled my nose in my scarf, the cold air dancing around my personal space. That's why I always hated the air. Couldn't they just acknowledge my space? Tch.  
I turned down the road, making it to a stop sign. I watched as some cars passed by, risking the chance of me zoning out. As I stumbled on the road, making it to the other side, I felt myself get all tingly and numb. I don't know why, but I just was. I walked down the sidewalk, halfway to my school. The feeling of walking to school in the early morning was the worst yet best at the same time. Maybe because you're preparing to walk into Hell itself. Or because you always have some companions to talk to.   
As the wind grew colder and harsher, I sped up the pace. I wasn't anticipating a snowstorm, but here we are. We'd probably be held back knowing the conditions of the weather in this small town. I breathed the warm and fuzzy scent of my scarf. The comforting feeling always made me feel even more tired. I knew that was bad, but it was a habit.  
Soon enough, as I finished ranting in my mind about some silly topic about school, I made it to the park right next to the school. There weren't many children there. I mean, what'd you expect? The park was all slushy from last week's rain, and snow was making it on the swingset. I walked closer to the school parking lot, feeling anxiety cripple as the crowds of people grew larger. I stood near the rim of the parking lot, staring at the fence. Once I walk into the gate, immerse myself in the morning talks of friends, I knew there'd be no turning back.  
I soon committed. No matter how many times I'd do this, I would always feel anxious. I could never stop it. I walked onto the fields and opened the doors into the school. There were even more students. Some were talking with their friends as they neared their class for preparation. Others were standing around, alone. I was one of them. I looked around the school hallways, finding my locker. I opened it up, taking my backpack off and my winter attire. I always felt nervous doing so. Imagine messing up something and your backpack gets trashed.  
I grabbed some notebooks for my first class. The dark cavern of my locker was so soothing and tiring. I could just fall asleep. . .  
"Y/N!" I heard someone call. I immediately turned over, seeing a brunette with beautiful hazelnut eyes.  
"Sasha?" I groaned. My voice wasn't meant to drag on and seem so croaky. . .  
"Hey! We have the same class today so," Sasha cleared her throat, "can we walk together?"  
I almost spaced out looking at her. Before I could leave the reality and dart straight to my mind, I nodded, "as long as it's not awkward," I stated.  
"Don't worry," Sasha chuckled, "it won't be."  
"If you say so," I yawned.  
"You're not a morning person are you?" Sasha questioned, "you always look so tired."  
"Yeah," I blinked, thinking of many ways on how to hide my intense eyebags. They were always so ugly. . .  
"Well," Sasha shrugged, "happens to the best of us."  
The high voice of Sasha was enough to wake me up a little. I knew that spark of energy would collapse once I made it to class, so I might as well use it wisely. I closed my locker door, a notebook in my hands. The two of us walked up the stairs together, with Sasha ranting about a meal she had from the new restaurant that opened up.  
"It's delicious, I mean really. I love it so-" as Sasha continued babbling, I stopped, looking at a familiar boy who was walking with two friends of his. He was blonde. He had these gorgeous blue eyes. And he had such a voice, too.  
The more I stared, the more creepy I felt. I turned to face Sasha, coming back to my senses. Sasha was on her phone, scrolling through her gallery. Then, she faced the screen to me. It was an image of the meal she had. "Tasty," I croaked.  
"You'd eat it, right?" Sasha could sense my tired yawns.  
"Of course I would," I stated, turning to see if Armin was still there. Sadly, he wasn't. But, his friend Mikasa was.  
"Who're you looking at?" Sasha turned and faced my direction. I didn't acknowledge it, I didn't want to hide anything from her. Well, anything that'd be easy to understand.  
"Is that Mikasa?" Sasha faced me, "what's got you so interested in her?"  
"I'm not," I yawned again, waiting for the bell to ring.  
"Oh," Sasha sighed, "my bad. Hey, speaking of which. . ." Sasha's voice trailed off. I could tell she was about to talk about relationships and such, "are you interested in anybody as of now?"  
I turned and faced her, my eyes slanted in exhaustion, "no. ." I lied. I didn't know whether it was blatantly obvious or if I was mischievous enough.  
"I'm your best friend," Sasha groaned in disappointment but then immediately went back to her neutral self, "you can tell me."  
"I'm not kidding," I was.  
"Please," Sasha begged, "I won't tell anyone, I swear."  
"What is this, Middle school?" I rolled my eyes.  
"Well I mean," Sasha sighed, "you're just getting a little defensive. I took Physics, I'd know."  
"That's not wha-" before I could finish my statement, the bell rang.  
Sasha then turned and faced the hallway to our classroom, then back at me, "let's go."  
I yawned in disappointment, trailing behind Sasha to prepare for the same, boring schedule.


	2. Heart Drop

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have to take a test for your morning class. The worst thing ever. As you take the test and continue your day, walking through the school, you bump into someone. The man you've been drawing for the past days or so. Armin Arlert. You two begin to socialize once you realize how much you have in common with one another.  
> Will the two of you become friends? Will you be able to make your fantasy a reality?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Aw, thanks for the reads. I appreciate it. Especially since I've made this book for fun. 50 reads are kind of a lot when it comes to writing my first book with only one chapter.   
> Here's chapter two.

I felt my mind go dizzy with thoughts. School was boring, and I was tired, bored out of my mind. I refrained a yawn as I looked at the surface of my desk lousily, resting my head on my wrist just a little. I felt my legs shake from the cold and from my fear of a quiz we were having. It wasn't a great start to the day, especially since I didn't get much sleep last night. I was just a little comforted by the fact that Sasha was taking the test with me.  
My insomnia and sleep schedule were getting worse. The more I tried to cover my eyebags with make-up, it felt as if they'd burst out again. I hated them. They were so disgusting and I wanted to get rid of them. But it was so hard. I never felt thirsty enough to drink four bottles of water as my mom suggests. And I never felt too hungry to eat three full meals as my dad suggests. I felt all pouty today. I knew my test grade would be below average. I was even warned beforehand to study harder than the rest. But it was all so hard to do.  
The teacher's voice was just background noise. I could care less about her pep-talk about the test. Especially since I was the first to get it. I felt my breath shake in anxiety. I never felt this worried about a test before. Probably because I was getting better grades then. I hated how my life was going from the point I began to develop insomnia. I just wanted everything to go back to normal so I didn't have to live like this anymore.  
I gulped as the teacher began handing out the test-sheets. The classroom went dead silent as the students who got their sheets began. Every time the teacher passed a desk, I felt my body jolt in anxiety. My stomach was leaping in pain the more nervous I got. My legs were shaking and bouncing up and down. I feared the feeling of failing the test. Even though I knew it was the most logical answer, I just didn't want it to be.  
Then, the moment I was scared of. The teacher slipped a sheet on my desk, walking down the aisle to hand out more sheets. I didn't bother looking at the teacher who was near the end of the classroom. I felt my eyes burn in the desire to cry. I wanted to rip the sheet apart and run out of the classroom. I feared tests, I always did. I tried to silence my breathing. Try and stay calm. But it was so hard. I breathed in and out, beginning my exercise.  
I shakily picked up my pencil at a painfully slow pace, looking at the text on the sheet that was all blurry to me. This was the energy that kept me awake. I had so many fears and this was one of them. I began to draw lines at the top of my sheet, beside the name box. The noise of the graphite against the paper was so soothing. I picked up my pencil and began to write my name, feeling calmer than before.  
As I began to begin my test, I still felt the feeling of leaving the classroom and vomit. But, I didn't want to. I didn't like the burning and tickling pain of vomiting. It made me shiver from head to toe. My droopy eyes were staring right at the test. I was just writing things at this point. I might as well fail on purpose than on accident. It'd take away some of the pain.  
But, there was a chance that I'd get a good grade. At least, that's what I want to convince myself. I felt my lips grow cold from the air. I looked up and stared at the front desk, my eyes blurred with anxiousness. I sighed, looking back down at the test and beginning to write again. I gulped. The silent and wavering atmosphere made my heart skip a beat. How could anyone not feel so under pressure at this point? I breathed in and out at such a pace that you'd think someone would notice.  
At this point, I was only at the beginning of the second page. And, I was looking at everywhere but the sheet. It was only three pages long, but I felt scared. I was always feeling this scared. I inhaled through my nose and exhaled through my mouth. I closed my eyes, trying to clear all my thoughts. It was hard, yeah, but it was probably the only thing I could do. But, my thoughts came to the fact we had only this class time to finish the test.  
My hand jolted, making a round dot of graphite on the paper. I felt my body tense up even more. I began to finish the second sheet slowly. I'd have to finish the test first and then worry about grades. But, how'd that work? Then, my grades would already be set in stone and I wouldn't be able to retake. I furrowed my brows, trying to get rid of the tension between myself and the test sheet.  
As I flipped the page over to the third and last sheet, I felt all the tension I just removed come back. I had to take my time now. Probably barely any time passed.  
"30 minutes left," the teacher announced.  
I didn't bother looking up. Did time fly really that fast? I breathed in and out, feeling the need to rush now. I looked up, realizing a majority of the kids were already done. I looked around, hoping I wasn't the only one unfinished. Luckily, I wasn't. At least three other kids weren't finished. But, to my luck, two of them got up and handed their sheets in.  
My eyes trained back at my sheet. I wanted to keep the tears from falling so I could refrain from making a mess on the paper. I tickled the sheet with more graphite at such a pace that 30 minutes probably already passed.   
Then, I was on the last question. The bell was probably going to ring soon, so I decided to get it done quickly. I filled out the answer box, showing how I made it to that solution even though I struggled with it. Then, the moment I was waiting for. I finished. I quickly skimmed through so that I would see if I missed any questions. After looking, I got up from my seat and slowly walked to the front desk. I felt as if my legs were gonna fall off any moment. As if all eyes were on me. Wait. . . was I the last person left?  
I immediately handed in my sheet to the teacher, who took it carefully. I tried to keep my limbs from becoming a shaking mess. As I was about to walk and stay seated at my desk, the bell rang. I watched as people got their bags to leave. The teacher stayed, staring at me. I didn't know if she was looking at me with disappointment or concern. I winced, looking away and grabbed my notebook and left.  
That was the worst thing ever. The sudden tension left me as I felt free to roam the hallways for my next class. I walked in the crowds, Feeling the urge to yawn. I held back because I knew that'd be embarrassing. Especially in front of a group of people. My eyes drooped in exhaustion. I wasted all my energy on being nervous for a stupid test. Let's hope it wasn't for nothing.  
I walked to my next class, the bell ringing. I walked to my desk, feeling lonely once I realized none of my friends were here. I sighed, trying to keep myself from self-pity. Let's just hope this block will go quickly.

I roamed the hallways, trying to look for any of my friends. First block was over, and lunch period was just around the corner. I was looking for Sasha specifically. Of course, lunch was her favourite part of the day. If only it was mine. I'm not saying I don't like lunch. It's a great time to hang out with friends. I just didn't like the food. It was yucky and I'm 99% sure it's soggy.  
I heard my name being called out from a familiar voice. I turned over, seeing Sasha pacing up to me. She had a face of anticipation. She was always waiting for this day.  
"Hey," I rasped.  
"The test sucked, didn't it?" Sasha groaned as we walked down the staircase to the cafeteria.  
"All tests suck," I shrug.  
"Well not all," Sasha disagreed, "when you know what's going on, tests are the best. It's like you're doing what they're actually meant for."  
"Debatable," I yawned.  
Sasha sighed, "okay. . ."  
We walked down the flight of stairs, making it to the first floor. We walked down the halls and made it to the cafeteria. I eyed Sasha, whose mouth was drooling. I narrowed my eyes, "you go and get your food and find a table. I'm getting something from the vending machine."  
Sasha turned and looked at me. My expression was rested now, but my thoughts weren't. They were haunted by the fact that the food might literally be soggy and raw. "Okay," Sasha agreed, entering the cafeteria.  
The loud noises from the students made my head grow in pain. The kids always gave me a headache. I walked around the hallways and found the vending machines. I grabbed some money out of my pocket. I only went to vending machines. I never ate the cafeteria food. Only my own food and the snacks I get from the vending machine.  
I slotted a coin in after I picked a drink for myself. Sprite was the best and no one could say otherwise. I squatted down, getting the sprite. As I got up, I turned and saw a blonde guy waiting beside me. My heart thumped once I realized I knew that blonde guy. His eyes were empty. They weren't judgemental, they weren't admirable. They were just blue, simple eyes.  
Gorgeous.  
"Do you like sprite too?" He began, trying to make a conversation.  
"I love it," I felt my voice crack. This was our first time speaking together with one on one!  
I moved out of the way, watching as he did the same process. I watched intently, almost forgetting my presence if that made sense.  
"Do you not like the food either?" He sighed.  
"No," I shook my head, "it's too gross."  
"I don't understand how some can eat it," He agreed.  
"What's your name?" Although I knew his name, I wanted to act as normal as possible. I didn't want him to feel weird around me or anything.  
"My name's Armin," he smiled softly, picking up his drink. It was Sprite too. That had to have meant something. Like an endless bond between us?  
As I told him my name, I thought. Could he sit with Sasha and me? I knew about his other friends. But couldn't they sit with us too? I shivered, feeling too scared to ask.  
"Ar. . Armin," I stammered, "would you like to sit with my friends?"  
"Really?" Armin widened his eyes, "we just met," he chuckled softly.  
"Well- this could be a way for us to hang. . . hang out," I felt my voice trail off. I refused to make eye-contact with him.  
"Okay," Armin agreed.  
I looked up at him, "do you have any friends you could bring? I'd be happy to see them, too."  
"Oh, yeah," Armin nodded.  
The tension between us immediately disappeared. I nodded, "okay. I'll come with you to get your friends."  
Armin agreed, walking past me as I followed him. That went smoothly.


	3. Fantasy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're hanging out during lunch. Since you've invited Armin and his friends, you automatically knew that this lunch would be better than all the other times you've had lunch. And as school goes on, do you think that you could get closer to Armin than before? Become his. . . best friend perhaps? Or lover?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so close to 100 hits and I just want to say how cool this feels. This is my first book on ao3 and I'm still fairly new here. I'm not sure when I'll actually get 100 reads, but I'll dream about it. :)

I trailed behind Armin, thinking about the things we could talk about at the cafeteria table. I narrowed my eyes, thinking about what Sasha was doing at this point. Was she fine being alone for so long? I decided to forget about it, choosing to think about Armin more.   
He looked beautiful. His blonde hair that I was dying to play with. His eyes reminded me of the deep sea. His voice was as smooth and honey and I felt as if I could fall asleep to it. His soft face that shown empathy and tranquillity. His entire build was something I wanted to draw. Portraits were getting easy for me, and I wanted to try something new.   
I heard Armin say my name, making me pause right beside Armin. I stared at him. I was just one inch taller than him. It wasn't much of a difference, though.  
"These are my friends, Eren and Mikasa," Armin introduced.  
I looked over, seeing a shy brunette and noirette. I analyzed the two. The noirette, who I assumed was Mikasa, had grey eyes that were pleasing to look at. She had a red scarf that was neatly wrapped around her neck. Her cheeks were dusted in a rosy colour, and her face was rested. I turned my gaze looking at the brunette, who had to be Eren. He had these beautiful turquoise eyes that were on full display. They were gleaming in hope, unlike his face which was angled looking at the ground in what I assumed was shyness. His hair seemed soft and it was growing out. Once I noticed him making eye-contact with Armin and me, I immediately looked at Mikasa.  
"Are you Mikasa?" I looked at the noirette, just to be sure. Mikasa nodded. I looked at Eren, "and you're Eren?"  
"Yeah," Eren responded, his voice just a little shaky.  
"They're a little shy," Armin smiled softly, looking at the ground.  
I stared at him through the corner of my eye. Why was my heart thumping in my chest? This was just one interaction. Was it the anticipation? The thought of Armin and me getting close? Becoming friends with his friends so that the two of us could talk more? Maybe.  
"Anyway," Armin began, "they asked if I could sit with them at their table with their friends," Armin eyed me then back to his friends, "would you like to come? It'd probably be best if you two got to know more people, right?"  
Eren stared at Armin. I could tell he was thinking about it. Mikasa was looking at me, her gaze was analytical. I decided to not acknowledge it for her own comfort.  
"Okay," Eren said just above a whisper. He looked over to Mikasa, who was looking at Armin now. She nodded in agreement with Eren.  
"Okay. . . well we can go and find them," I stated, "I don't know where their table is since I went outside the cafeteria."  
"That's alright," Armin glanced at me.  
I nodded, turning to try and see where Sasha could be sitting. Normally, she would be sitting near the doors for easy access to get out. That or the vending machines inside the cafeteria. My eyes travelled there first. Once my eyes were trained near the corner of the vending machines, I saw a brunette munching on some food. I turned back, "I found them."  
Mikasa nodded, making me turn back to lead the way. As we made it closer to Sasha's table, I noticed some guy sitting beside her. How didn't I notice him before? I sighed, continuing at a moderate pace. Who was it? The guy had a clean buzzcut and some yellow, bright eyes. Then, we got closer. I turned back to ensure the three were following me.  
I sat at Sasha's table, taking the bottle of sprite out of my pocket.  
I heard Sasha say my name in happiness. I set my sprite on the table, noticing her confused expression. Armin hesitantly sat down beside me. I chuckled, "I brought some friends over if that's okay."  
"It's fine, I just didn't expect it," Sasha reassured me.  
"I'm Armin," he greeted.  
I eyed the buzzcut guy, my face an expression of confusion. He looked up from his phone, turning and looking at the three new members. He stared at me awkwardly, then at Sasha. "Oh," he realized what was going on, "I'm Connie."  
"Hi," Eren's voice was a little unstable.  
"This is Connie," Sasha repeated, "he's a childhood friend of mine."  
"I didn't know," I looked at Sasha in surprise.  
"Yeah, I guess I never told you," Sasha shrugged, "sorry."  
"It's fine," I sighed with a soft smile, opening my sprite bottle.  
"So who are you?" Armin asked, looking at Sasha.  
"I'm Sasha," she greeted as he sipped on her sparkling water.  
"Nice to meet you," Armin smiled awkwardly.  
The six of us began to eat out lunch in silence. The chattering of students was blocked out of my head as I thought more about Armin and his friends. Could he play any instruments? What was it like at home for him? Could he draw? Could he write? Could he sing? More questions about him popped into my head. I didn't want to ask him any of them, though, because I felt that'd be awkward. I sipped more of my sprite, letting the sweet taste linger in my mouth.  
"What class do you have next?" Sasha asked me.  
"I have Geography," I responded.  
Sasha nodded, "sucks. I have History."  
I felt a weird feeling. She just said that in front of four other people I don't know all that well. I felt myself tense up in awkwardness. Was this how our first interaction was going to be? Armin and me? I sighed, closing the lid to my sprite bottle for a break. The fizzy drink was my favourite, and I'm pretty sure it was Armin's too. That's one thing we have in common with each other.  
"If it makes you any better," I heard that same honey-smooth voice. I looked directly at Armin. "I have Geography too."  
We just met, and he's already reassuring me of having the same class? Was this what true love was? If so, that's amazing. I nodded, "that helps."  
Again, I felt uneasy. He was so quick to reassure me. Was there a reason for that? Did he love me or something? No. I was thinking too much. He probably felt pity for me. No, that's even worse. I tried to hide my expression of thought. What would he think if I told him I drew him every night because of my trouble sleeping?   
Now I'm thinking too much. He said like ten words and I'm going crazy over them. Am I normal? Well, no, but I thought it was cool how Armin was quick to reassure me. Even if it was weird.  
"Hey so," Connie began, "I don't know you guys that much, but you four seem cool to hang out with."  
I looked up at him, wondering what he was going to say. Also, how did he manage to seem so cool about it? He must've been shaking in awkwardness and shyness. I peeked under the table. No. He seemed fine.   
"Do you guys want to hang out after school?" Connie asked.  
I looked at him, then Armin. Could the two of us hang out after school? It'd give me an excuse to be around him more. Why was this obsessive feeling all I could feel? I felt so awkward and forbidden at the moment. I felt creepy. I wanted him to say yes, but something told me he was going to say no-  
"I can go," Armin smiled.  
I felt so lucky at this point. I looked at Sasha, thinking she was going to say yes too.  
"I'm free tonight," Sasha nodded.  
"So am I," I said, trying to keep my reasoning a secret.  
I wouldn't actually go if I didn't get a chance to hang out with Armin more. It wasn't this weird obsessive feeling. I just really wanted to hang out with him, get to know him better. Y'know, stuff people do to become friends. But, I felt as if that was only an excuse and not a reason.  
"I think Eren and I can come, too," Mikasa mumbled.  
"I'll invite a friend as well, then," Connie planned.  
My thoughts roamed. Where would we go? Would we go to someones' house? The park in the city? To the ice cream shop? I felt as if there were so many things we could do. What if all of us could become friends? Best friends? I eyed Armin subtly, not wanting him to see. My gaze was fixed on him as I anticipated tonight.   
My heart sunk in the thought of my parents saying no. But how could they? Plus, if they said no, I could just say that I need to go outside more often. The winter sun was the best sun. I smiled softly, beginning to look forward to tonight.  
Then, the bell rang. Geography class was next. And if that wasn't enough, Armin would take the class with me. It haunted me that I never realized him beforehand. Geography class would feel so boring, but now I would be able to hang out with Armin more. Or, if it was my luck, we'd all be doing something stupid like an assessment or a one-person project. Or, even worse, taking notes.  
I threw my empty bottle of sprite in the trash, hearing my name being called. I turned over, seeing Armin. I eyed him as he stopped next to me. "Since the two of us have Geography class together, do you want to walk together?"  
I stared at him, thinking of the many conversations we could have together as we walk to Geography class. "Sure," I said, hiding my excitement.  
The two of us began walking down the halls to make it to Geography. I felt even giddier than ever, walking beside the guy I've been fantasizing about for ages. My breathing was struggling to stay consistent. Geography was out of my mind. Right now, I was stuck in the moment. I was never stuck in the moment, but now I have Armin to think about, who was right beside me. No matter how many times I said it, I could never fully believe it. Could you imagine a person you've been fantasizing about walking beside you? Going to the same class as you?  
"Armin," I breathed.   
His eyes fixed on me, "yeah?"  
"Would you like to hang out more often?" I asked, a little nervous about how I was able to say that so confidently.  
"I'd be okay with that," Armin smiled.   
As a surge of energy soared through me, I felt it all die down. My inconsistent breathing dropped to a boring routine. I felt my vision become blurry. Oh. That was because we were right at the door to Geography class. That was when I realized. Armin sat on the other side of the classroom.  
How lame. I anticipated this for nothing. No reason at all. I sighed, grabbing my notebook I had grabbed from my locker before we went to walk to Geography. I grabbed a pencil as well, resting my face on my hand.  
That's when it came to me. I would never have a real reason to be excited about anything. I bet that my parents would say no to me hanging out with my friends tonight. I bet that I'd be too scared to sneak out. It always had to happen like that. Why couldn't I be excited for real? Why?


	4. Brumous

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> As the day passes on, school finally comes to an end. You get to walk home and prepare for tonight. It might not be much. But, you never really went outside. And, Armin was in the picture as well. Your time at home lets you be kept with thoughts. Safe in your own mind.  
> Will you be disappointed or satisfied with tonight?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for 99 reads. I really appreciate it. It's insane that I would get that far with a simple book I wrote for fun. Hope I make it to 100 reads. That's a big milestone for me. :)  
> Enjoy.

I quickened my pace, the snow crunching beneath my feet. The cold air assaulted my face. It roamed the space around me. I sighed, letting a puff of cloud out. The feeling of going back home was all I could think of. I could fix up my eyebags. I knew they were getting worse at school when I went to the bathroom at lunch. It's not fun having eye bags. You're always paranoid. Thinking that others' will think you're a psychopath but in reality, you're not.  
My breathing stayed consistent. I was a little exhausted. The day felt like a month. But, if I had a reason to be only a little exhausted, it was because of tonight. I was going to hang out with some new people. It's been a while since I've gotten outside of my house for a reason other than school. So, I knew that it'd be refreshing to get to know new people.  
I smiled to myself. There were so many things we could possibly do. I bet four new people. New people to hang around with. The more people I befriend, the more people I could talk to. I only ever had Sasha, and even then, she was only in two of my classes. It wasn't fun to be separated from her. It felt like we lived on two different continents. But, now I have other friends to hang out with. Armin is in my Geography class, which is one of the best things ever. It makes Geography something I look forward to.  
As I neared my house, my mind was overwhelmed with more thoughts. What were we going to do tonight? Where were we going? I decided to think not much of it. I wanted to cleanse my thoughts when I made it back home. Maybe draw until I got a notification from Sasha.  
I closed in on my house. I walked up the driveway and made my way up the porch. I turned back, seeing my mother's car. She must be home now. I sighed, opening the door and being welcomed by the scent of oils coming from the diffuser. I closed the door behind me, beginning to take my boots off.  
I hung my coat back up after I set my backpack down. I heard my mother call my name in excitement. She was in the kitchen. I sighed, taking my mittens off. Finally, I was naked from winter attire. I walked down to the kitchen, seeing my mother making food.  
"Mom," I said, a little nervous.  
She turned and looked at me. Her eyes were drooping from exhaustiveness. They didn't look as bad as mine, though. My eyelids were hooded, and my major eye bags didn't help. Her eyes looked like she just had a long day at work. They were still full of energy.  
"Yes, dear?"  
"I was wondering if I could hang out with my friends tonight," I asked, feeling my heart thump.  
"Okay," she sighed. "How was your test today?" She asked, changing the subject.  
"It was okay," I said.  
It wasn't. I was completely lying. I just didn't want to be a part of a new conversation I knew I'd hate. Tests always filled me with nervousness. That wasn't new at all. My mother and father knew full well of it. But, they always expected the best from me. Always expected good grades. And since my struggle to sleep came along, my grades were dropping violently. My parents acknowledged this, trying to get me to my best. Insisting me to go outside and hang out. Exercise. So, I knew that since I asked my mother to hang out with my friends outdoors, she'd be happy about the offer.  
"Do you have homework?" my mother asked.  
"No, I'm good for now," again, that was another lie. I had to do some homework for History class. But I would never do that if I was held at gun-point. I don't even pay attention at all.  
"Tell me when you're going out, and tell me when you're coming back," she said as I walked up the stairs, feeling hungry.  
"Okay," I responded.  
I walked into my room, closing the door behind me. The noises of the wind and the white noise of silence filtered the room. I sat on my bed, my heading hanging. I felt as if people were whispering in my ears, telling me things. Like, 'go to sleep' or, 'you're tired'. I knew I was tired, but I could stay awake for longer. I sighed, trying to hide my disappointment. I was disappointed in myself. Knowing I would most likely ruin the event.  
I looked up, seeing shadows and silhouettes roaming around my room. I didn't want to do anything. It's been like this for a while now. Even if my chest tightened in fear, I knew I was completely helpless when it came to this. When I see things. Ever since my first week of insomnia, I would begin to see shadowy figures. Whether they were peeking and staring at me or just roaming around. My mother caught on and took me to the hospital. I was diagnosed with insomnia. When my doctor looked more into me, he said I could have something worse. But he didn't want to diagnose improperly.  
I felt my head pulsate in pain. I rubbed my temples with my fingers, trying to soothe my mind. I wanted to cleanse my thoughts. I began to sit in the most comfortable position I could think of. Relaxing my shoulders and my face. I closed my eyes, wanting to focus on my breathing. Inhaling for 5 seconds, holding for 4, and exhaling for 3.  
I repeated the process, feeling my body and mind getting calmer and calmer as time went on. The wind was filtered away. All it was to me was white noise. Silence at that. There wasn't anything else. Not kids chirping from outside my window. Not birds singing from the trees. It was just my thoughts that slowly removed themselves from my mind.  
Then, as time went on, I heard a ding come from my phone. I opened my eyes and looked at my phone. I looked at the screen, seeing a notification from Sasha. My heart jolted in excitement. I opened the message to read what she had to say.  
'Can I come over to pick you up?'  
I stared at it, thinking what my mom might say to me. I thought about it. I got up from my bed, grabbing a hoodie from my closet to put on. I then grabbed my phone, walking downstairs to go into the kitchen.  
"Mom," I called. I watched as mom turned around, looking at me. "Can I hang out with my friends now? Sasha's coming to pick me up."  
"Who are your friends?" she asked.  
"Sasha and a few others. One of them is her childhood friend," I answered.  
"Okay," she sighed. She was exhausted. I could tell from her face.  
"I'll be back at. . . 9," I said, pulling out my phone.  
"Remind yourself that," mother said as she walked out of the kitchen to sit on the sofa in the living room.  
I began to text Sasha, telling her 'yes' to her offer. I was excited. Because well, I never really did this before. Never got to hang out with friends. Probably because of my own thoughts and my own hobbies. I would only facetime them or text them. 'Them' being Sasha. I never had anyone else other than her and my family. So, you already knew it was refreshing to make new friends. New friends like Armin, Connie and Mikasa.  
My phone buzzed in the signal of a notification. I looked at the message.  
'Coming'.  
I felt anxiety bubble up inside of me. She was really going to come. I smiled softly in excitement. I was both scared and happy. I walked over to the front room, sitting down on one of the couches. I heaved, feeling jolts of energy come and go. I hated this feeling. The feeling where I had to force out these acts of energy before they left.   
I was normally exhausted all the time. But when I had a reason to be excited, I would get really excited. My limp build and my face didn't add to it. I used to remember how healthy my skin was. It was dark and showed a sign of healthiness. Now, I was paler than before. Probably because of my non-sleeping habits. I wish I never picked up on them. I frowned to myself. Was this all I could think of?  
I wanted time to pass. I wanted to be there. With the others. Hanging out with them. Hanging out with Armin. I wanted to get to know him better. I wanted the drawings in my room to be there for a reason. Being ignored by Armin was my worse nightmare. So, you already know that it was the best thing ever to hear him say yes to my offer. If I didn't ask him to sit with me at lunch, who knows what could've happened instead.  
As time passed, I heard a knock on the door. I could feel my heart flip. I got up, looking down the hallway into the living room.  
"I'll be going now," I told my mom.  
I took the silence as a yes. I began to put my winter coat on. I opened the door before I put on anything else, though. And I was right. It was Sasha.  
"Hey," Sasha smiled, "are you excited? Normally you never go out."  
"Yeah," I croaked. My voice seemed raspier. Embarrassing.  
I put my boots on, then grabbed my scarf. It was colder than it was this morning. I knew that. I wrapped the scarf around my neck, walking out the house with Sasha. I closed the door behind us.  
"Are you ready?" Sasha asked.  
I was positive I was. I patted myself down. I had my phone in my pocket. I had my winter coat on. I was fine. I nodded.


	5. Social

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You walk with Sasha to meet up with some other friends. You're excited to meet more people and socialize with them. Especially Armin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh wow. 100 reads? That's a big milestone. Thanks! Also, it's gonna be very rare for me to be posting on Sundays. But, I'll post every other day!

"Sasha," I rasped, feeling a little dizzy.  
"Yeah?"  
"You know how nervous I can get when I meet new people," I began, "so will you introduce me instead?"  
"It's only one person," Sasha shrugged, "but sure."  
I have met the others at lunch today. Connie, Eren, Mikasa and Armin. They seemed simple and normal, yet they were all so different from one another. They all had different attributes that I could draw. I sighed, breathing in the cold air. The frosted sidewalk was beginning to become icy. I looked at some of the houses. There were Christmas lights still up on some of them.  
I smiled at the thought of meeting some new people. Hanging out with people I never thought I'd hang out with. What would've happened if I didn't bump into Armin at the vending machine? What would've happened if I was too scared to ask if he could sit with us? Probably some boring and average stuff. Good thing that didn't happen.  
The sound of the wind echoed in the background. All I was focused on was plans on hanging out with some friends. As said before, it's been a while since I've gone outside for things other than school. I wasn't used to staying in the cold air for a long time.  
I heard Sasha call my name, making me look at her.  
"You have eye bags," Sasha pointed out.  
"I do?" my voice croaked.  
"Do you want to hide them? I don't know if I have the stuff but I can find a way-"  
"It's fine," I sighed. "I don't need help at the moment. I just want to hang out with new friends."  
"Okay," Sasha smiled softly.  
I had eye bags? How intense were they? I didn't want anybody to see them so why did I say no? Am I stupid or something? I tried to hide my frustration by looking down at my feet as we walked on the frosted sidewalk.  
I felt jolts of anxiety rush through my veins. My chest tightened and my breathing went heavy as I took each breath. The cold air was beginning to hit me like a truck. It created more impact on me than before. The thought of actually hanging out with new people got to me. I couldn't actually be proper and formal like I imagined I could. There was a big chance I'd mess up.  
Then, I felt cold hands touching my hair. I turned over, looking to see Sasha. Her eyes were sparkling with concern. I didn't feel any better though. My stomach dropped and I could feel pain itch all over my body. I felt stinging electrocution in my veins again. My breathing was inconsistent and sloppy.   
I heard Sasha whisper my name, "are you nervous?" she asked.  
"I just felt this pain," I shrugged, feeling my voice go all over the place.  
"That's normal, don't worry," Sasha smiled, "we can always go back. It's fine if you don't go."  
I stared at the ground. But I want to. Why would I reject an offer as such? It'd be so much easier if I stayed home, yes, but I wanted to go outside for a reason other than walking to school. I looked up and eyed Sasha, my chest tightening even more. "I want to go," I rasped.  
"You don't have to," Sasha narrowed her eyes, "I'm not going to force you to do anything," her voice was calm and gentle.  
I didn't want to make direct eye contact with her. I looked at my feet still, my thoughts running wild. I wasn't going to leave now. "I'm going. Trust me, I'll be fine," I breathed. My chest was beginning to expand again. I still felt jolts of anxiety but other than that I was fine.  
We continued walking. I eyed the neighbourhood, making sure no one saw the embarrassing scene just now. Thankfully, the neighbourhood seemed pretty deserted from the outdoors. I guess people were gathered in their houses. My hands stayed tucked in my pockets as another gust of wind hit. Were we really going to hang out in these conditions? I suppose.  
"We'll make it to the park," Sasha said.  
The park wasn't that far away. It was near the baseball diamond of the neighbourhood. I continued my gaze on my feet. The warmth of being home was really getting to me. But, I wasn't going to bail on making some friends at least. For the past two years, I've only had Sasha as a proper friend. Other than that, nobody else really came to mind. Of course, that didn't change the fact I had a special admiration for Armin Arlert.

"We're here," Sasha announced quietly.  
I looked up, seeing the hill to the park. I felt my body shiver in anxiety. Were we doing this? Why was I so scared and nervous? I gulped, trailing lightly behind Sasha. I stuck close beside her as we walked up the hill. We went down a path that was frosted in tiny bits of snow. I turned back every once in a while, feeling a little queasy.   
As we got to the top of the hill, I heard some chit-chat from the other side. Was it them? I turned and looked at Sasha who was smiling mischievously.  
"Are they here?" I asked.  
"I think so," she toned down her expression to a soft smile. She turned and looked at me, "are you ready?"  
I looked at her. I guess it'd be best if I said I was. Then we'd avoid conflict. But, I was feeling queasy at talking to some people outside of my bubble. Even though I wanted to meet new people and get to know them better, I didn't want to go through that process. If that made any sense. But, if I had to power through introductions and such, then so be it. "Yeah."  
"Let's go," Sasha responded quickly.  
I trailed behind her. As we made it close to the other side of the hill, I looked down. There were some recognizable people. And when I mean some- I mean one. I think his name was Connie. He was with another guy who I never met before. My heart thumped as I realized I probably had to meet him. Get to know his name.   
"Whose that?" I asked.  
"The guy Connie is talking to?"  
"Uh- yeah," I scoffed.  
"That's Jean," Sasha answered.  
"Do you know him?" I asked.  
"Well, yeah, Connie and he was friends at the beginning of high school and stuff," she rolled her eyes.  
"Oh," I chuckled softly. I guess she was jealous. I eyed the scene more before we walked down the hill. Where were Armin and his friends? I was anticipating this moment so I could talk to Armin more. And he wasn't even here. Yet?  
"Well, let's go then," Sasha began to walk down the hill. I followed her.  
My heart pounded inside my chest the more steps I took. I almost felt like I could slip off this cliff any moment. The dry, frosted path was the only thing keeping me from slipping and sliding down the cliff. As we neared the end of the hill, all I could think of was Armin coming out with his friends. Too bad they weren't here for the time being.  
We made it to a stop as we reached the end of the hill. I could hear Sasha's name being called by Connie. I trailed lightly behind Sasha, feeling a little sadness build up inside me.  
"Hey, you guys," Sasha greeted, looking around. I assumed she was looking for Armin and his friends as well.  
"How was the walk here?" Connie asked.  
"It was okay," Sasha sighed, "some things happened, though."   
I zoned out, feeling the cold wind slowly becoming less and less impactful. I felt floaty as I daydreamed about being somewhere else at the moment. Alone in a candle-lit room. Before I could get lost in the reality, I heard Sasha calling my name. I looked up, my gaze travelling to hers.  
Sasha looked at me, blinking. I looked around, seeing the other two looking at me as well. I felt my heart pounding violently as I was trying to come up with an excuse. As I was doing so, Sasha began introducing myself for me. How pitiful. Couldn't even introduce myself at the moment.  
"You look tired," Jean pointed out.  
"She always does," Sasha croaked, "it's fine. I think it adds flavour."  
I smiled softly at Sasha's attempts for keeping me away from embarrassment. I wasn't looking at anything in particular. But I could feel myself spacing out again. That was until Sasha smacked my back. I immediately looked at her, my eyes questioning why she did that.  
"Sorry," she whispered in my ear, "but you keep spacing out."  
I looked at her then nodded, "sorry."  
She shrugged, turning to look at Connie, "so is Armin not coming yet?"  
"He said he'd be late," Connie shrugged. "When I was getting ready to walk home, he bumped into me saying he was going to be late."  
"Oh," Sasha sighed.  
"Yeah," Connie clicked his tongue, "anyway, I was thinking we could go out and get some things. Using Jean's money of course."  
I could hear Jean grunt in frustration. I didn't acknowledge their conversation. All I could think about was being somewhere warm. Like by a fireplace or something. Or, in someones' arms. As I began to detail pictures in my head, I heard somebody call Connie's name. I looked up, hoping it was Armin. To my surprise, it was. Eren and Mikasa were trailing behind him.  
He seemed to be nicely bundled up. A grey winter coat with a blue scarf that was gently wrapped around his neck. Finally. He was here as well. I could still feel myself spacing out, however. But, I felt more energized now that my purpose of being here came to life.  
And, the anxiety I had been piling up in my chest was sinking away. Like it was never there almost. Why? Why was this happening? Why did I feel so comfortable with Armin even though I barely knew him? Was it because I liked the way he looked? Or was it because of the way he acted? None of these were proper answers to my questions. I truly did not know.  
I smiled softly, feeling excitement tingle at my fingertips. Now I'm happy to be here. I'm not embarrassed. I'm happy. I felt as if I could make an inspirational speech in front of 5000 people. That's how excited and energized I was feeling. If only I could feel like this forever.


	6. Supermarket

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You and the rest go out and spend your time together. You go to a supermarket and have fun there. Armin and you start to socialize and you buy packs of fairy lights. He always wanted fairy lights.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all the reads. I'm sorry for the slow pacing, I'm not as motivated as I thought I'd be. Anyway, it'll get better, I think I just need a little more time planning the chapters.

I walked at Sasha's side as we made it down the frosted sidewalk on the city. A group of teenagers. Sounds embarrassing, doesn't it? I could feel anticipation tingle in my veins. I got over the anxiety and was excited to hang out with my friends; especially Armin. I smiled to myself, still feeling less energized than the rest. My heart wasn't thumping loudly like the walk to the park. It was beating consistently and slowly.  
Even the winter air was positive. I felt so close to Armin at this moment that I could be yellow forever. I didn't want to make it noticeable, however. I breathed in and out beside Sasha, the chitter-chatter from Jean and Connie being background noise. The wailing of cars passing by and the aggressive walking sounds from fellow pedestrians were somewhat relaxing.  
I could feel everything blur as I began to zone out to my imagination. A warm fireplace would be pretty nice by now. I could just imagine fire crackling and the warmth it'd emit. My scarf and winter coat simply weren't enough. I could imagine a snowstorm coming later this week. If not, what was all this cold weather for?  
I heard Sasha whisper my name, making me turn to look at her.  
"You thinking of anything to buy?" Sasha asked.  
I thought about it. I looked back down at my feet thoughtfully. If we were to go to the supermarket, what could I buy? Was there anything that I really wanted? We were going to a supermarket, so I wasn't expecting anything surprising or eventful. "No."  
"I'm going to buy snacks," Sasha smiled, "I'm the hungriest I've ever been right now."  
"You always say that," I chuckled softly.  
"Well. . . I mean-" Sasha stammered.  
"It's fine," I shrugged, "I'm craving some quick snack, too."  
"The sun is blinding me," Sasha grunted.  
I was too occupied staring at my feet to look at the sun. I didn't even bother to look. If it was blinding Sasha, it would probably make me go blind and deaf. My eyes were sensitive to the sun. It was probably a lack of sleep. Or what not.  
"Is it that bright?"  
"Yeah!" Sasha groaned.  
The two of us walked in silence afterwards. The noises of cars zooming past being the only things I heard. I would hear small talk every now and then, but I wasn't involved in that. The frosted sidewalk oddly comforted me. I felt safe looking at it. Probably because I've been looking at it for almost the whole time walking to the supermarket.  
I looked up, and to my surprise noticed the supermarket. I turned and looked at Sasha. She was drooling. Most likely at the thought of food. I looked at the six of them. Analyzing every one of them.   
"Guess we're here," Jean yawned.  
"I can already hear you're complaining and constant groaning," Connie nudged as he stepped off the sidewalk to enter the parking lot.  
"Shut up," Jean rolled his eyes playfully.  
The seven of us stepped into the parking lot. Armin and his friends were unusually quiet. Were they uncomfortable? If so, then why? Could I do something to help them feel more comfortable? Or would I just make it worse? We travelled through the parking lot to make it to the entry doors. The white noise that filtered our silence made me start to feel less excited for tonight.  
Then, I heard a voice say my name. Was it Sasha?  
No, it was Armin. I looked over, "yeah?"  
"Is there anything you'd like?" Armin smiled gently, "if so, I can get it for you."  
My heart jolted at his offer. Was he saying that because he liked me? No. I was overthinking that. But even then, was he growing a liking to me? I hope. I wanted to be his best friend. Maybe even more. But I didn't want to take on the offer, that'd be a greedy thing to do.  
"No, it's fine," I smiled thoughtfully, "thank you, though."  
"I'm being serious," Armin joked, "I want to spend the money I brought. I think it'd be nice of me to spend it on a new friend."  
"New friend?" I repeated.  
"Yeah," Armin shrugged, looking over to Eren and Mikasa, "besides, those two goofballs are being all shy and closed."  
I chuckled lightly, "thanks, then."  
"You accept?" he asked, walking close by my side.  
"I guess," I nodded, "but I won't make you spend all that money you brought."  
"Okay," Armin giggled, digging his hands in his coat pockets.  
We headed inside the supermarket. I could feel my heart thumping loudly at this point. He spoke to me, with words of thought. I may be overthinking at this point, but how beautiful of him.   
"So you have anywhere to be?" Sasha asked.  
I turned over to her, making eye contact with her, "no."  
"I'm going to get some snacks from the food aisle, so come with me," Sasha smiled.  
I nodded, turning over to Armin who was speaking with Eren and Mikasa. I looked back, beginning to follow Sasha.   
"Wait, are we all splitting up?" I looked around, seeing Jean and Connie disappear.  
"I guess," Sasha shrugged. "Anyway, my stomach is screaming."  
"Are you going to eat in the store?" I narrowed my eyes.  
"If I'm desperate enough, yes, but no, I won't," Sasha looked straightforward. Her body language was a little suspicious.  
"Oh, okay then," I sigh.  
"Why? you want me to?" she teased.  
"What? No!" I grunted.  
"Keep telling yourself that then," she grinned.  
We paced to the food aisle. I watched as Sasha searched for her favourite kind of snack. I sighed, checking my phone to see if I had any messages from my parents. To my surprise, I had none. Maybe they're happy that I finally went out.  
"I found some chips," Sasha announced quietly, making me jolt and put my phone back.  
"Don't scare me like that," I complained.  
"I wasn't planning to!" Sasha promised.  
"Okay," I smiled.  
As I walked with Sasha, all I could think about was Armin. I was itching to see him. He said he'd spend money on me. Only friends do that, so that made Armin and me friends. The best of the best.  
"Sasha," I began, "I'm going to find Armin."  
"Why? You like him?" she teased.  
"N. . No," I breathed shakily.  
"Believable," Sasha said in a sarcastic tone.  
"Whatever," I chuckled awkwardly. "Okay, I'll find you soon then."  
"Okay, see you," she smiled as I walked off to find Armin.  
In this supermarket, I'd say it'd be pretty easy to get lost. Especially when so many things are blurry to you. I could feel whips of air lash at me as strangers paced past me in a rush. What were they rushing for? I sighed, tensing up just a little. I could see things. But I couldn't hear them. As I continued through the aisles, I heard my name being called. I looked up, seeing Armin.  
"Armin?" I respond.  
Armin waved, smiling. I walked over to him, smiling softly.  
"Were you looking for me?" he chuckled.  
"Yeah," I said. I might as well be honest with him. There's no point in lying.  
"You want to make that offer come true?" He asked.  
"I was just looking for you since you came to my mind," I answered.  
"Okay," he smiled softly, making no eye contact with me as he searched the shelves for something.  
"What are you looking for?" I questioned, searching the shelves as well.  
"There are these things called fairy lights," Armin shrugged, "I think they look really cool. Even if they are cheap."  
"Oh," I exhaled, feeling my chest being punched from the thumping of my heart.  
"Do you want some too?" Armin paused his search and made eye contact with me. His deep blue eyes having a glimmer of life in them.  
I stared at him, almost spacing out just by looking at them. "Sure," I replied. If I were to be at a supermarket for the time being, I might as well come out with something.  
"Okay, I'll get two packages for you and two packages for me," Armin planned, "I'm sure I have enough for that anyway.  
How kind of him. Spending money on someone he just met today. Was that how kind we have? When I thought of kind, I didn't think he'd be this kind of a person. A cruel world like this doesn't deserve people like him.  
"Found them!" Armin announced.  
I stayed beside him, watching as he grabbed four packages of fairy lights. I took two, hugging them respectfully. If he was willing to buy these, I might as well be the most respectful I can be. I mean, he's buying these for me by choice.  
I followed him as he walked down the aisle. I felt my chest beating fiercely at this point. He was so kind. He had such sparkling eyes even though he didn't seem so energized all the time like me. I admired every feature of his body. The way he stares at me and the way his hair was done. How could somebody be so beautiful and kind? That's the full package!  
"I'll go check these out," Armin turned around. I handed him the fairy lights.  
"Okay," I smiled.  
We split up after that. He bought me something. He's spending money on me. Will I ever forget this moment? No. Never. Not in a million years. I felt my heartbeat as I looked for Sasha again. We weren't separated for as long as I expected us to. I smiled to myself. This was probably the best moment in my life. I changed my mind.  
I won't be putting those fairy lights up. I'll probably keep them packaged in my desk drawers. I don't want to put them up, what if they get ruined? I'll cherish the items as if my life depends on them. That's a promise.


End file.
